the show awkward is supposed to depict the life of a socially awkward teenage blogger but in the show she has 2 hot guys that want to be with her but she can’t choose one like hONESTLY THAT IS NOT THE LIFE OF A SOCIALLY AWKWARD BLOGGER THAT ISN’T EVEN AWKWARD
maybe at the end the hot guys turn out to be fictional characters and its all in her head and the camera zooms out on a scene of her laughing alone with salad
- someone: what are your plans for the weekend
- me: who knows
- me: (i know)
- me: (i'm not leaving the house)
Him: What do you use to catch a shark?
Me: I don’t know, fish?
Him: NO. Shark bait. Okay, try this one.. what do you use to catch a snake?
Me: Oh, snake bait.
Him: YES. And what about a giraffe?
Me: Giraffe bait.
Him: Okay. What about if you want to catch an eye master?
Me: What the hell is an eye master?
Him: Just answer the question!
Me: Okay fine, whatever. Eye master b—
MOM HANDED ME A BIG ENVELOPE SAYING I GOT IT IN THE MAIL AND BEING A SMART ASS I SAID ‘WHAT IS IT FROM THE PRESIDENT’ AND IT’S FROM THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE
APPARENTLY THEY SENT THIS BACK BECAUSE I WAS A SHIT AND INVITED THEM TO MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION
My grandpa has Alzheimer’s so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen.
that feeling u get when u pause a video game after some intense fighting
OH MY GOD SO SOME RUDE GUY ON THE STREET PASSING BY ME SAID “TAKE THAT METAL OUT OF YOUR NOSE IT’S DISGUSTING” AND I SAID “TAKE YOUR JUDGMENTAL HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS YOU’RE DISGUSTING” AND THE PERSON WALKING BEHIND ME LAUGHED SO HARD SHE STOPPED WALKING